Team,

I know it's Sunday. I know you don't read these on Sundays. I don't care. This is URGENT. It's Super Bowl Sunday and I need everyone to know my current emotional state: ELECTRIC. I am vibrating at a frequency that Barbara would describe as "concerning" and my therapist would describe as "worth discussing at our next session."

I have been awake since 4:30 AM. Not because I set an alarm. Because my body KNEW. My body said "Rick, today is the day. Get up. Make coffee. Open six betting apps. Start making decisions you'll regret before sunrise." My body is a wise and terrible machine.

My Bets (A Partial List)

I'm not going to share ALL of my bets because Legal told me I can't "disclose financial activities that might impact shareholder confidence." But I will share SOME of them because I am the CEO and transparency is one of my core values (the others are "winning" and "looking great in shorts").

I have Sam Darnold over 246.5 passing yards. I have Drake Maye to throw the first interception of the game at +600. I have both kickers to make at least two field goals each. I have the under on the national anthem length, which I now deeply regret because I just learned who's singing it and they're going to BELT. I have a same-game parlay that involves the coin toss result, first quarter score, halftime lead, and whether Bad Bunny will be wearing a chain. This parlay pays $16,400. I bet $25. This is what executives call "risk-adjusted optimism."

The Office Watch Party

Some of you may remember that I declared the company is hosting a "Mandatory Fun" Super Bowl watch party in the main conference room. Attendance is technically optional but spiritually mandatory. I have requisitioned three 75-inch TVs, a nacho bar, and a scoreboard that tracks everyone's prop bets in real time. Barbara approved the budget for one TV and chips. I will be supplementing the rest from the "CEO Discretionary Fund," which is just my personal credit card, but calling it a fund makes it feel more legitimate.

The seating chart is as follows: I sit in the center. Everyone else figures it out. This is how leadership works.

A Message to Gary

Gary, if you're reading this: I know you're planning to bring fish tacos to the Super Bowl party. I've seen the group chat screenshot that Janet forwarded me. Do not bring fish tacos. Do not bring any form of fish. If you show up with fish, I will revoke your microwave privileges for the rest of 2026. I will also revoke your parking spot. Don't test me, Gary. Not today. Today is sacred.

My Prediction

I've studied both teams extensively. By "extensively" I mean I watched one YouTube compilation titled "Drake Maye INSANE highlights" and another titled "Sam Darnold REDEMPTION ARC (motivational)" and now I feel qualified to predict the outcome. Seahawks 28, Patriots 24. Darnold throws for 300+. Maye throws one pick that haunts him forever. Bad Bunny plays for exactly 14 minutes. The Gatorade is orange. I am wrong about all of this. I am confident about all of this. These two things coexist within me and I have made peace with that.

Team,

Happy Friday. As you know, I believe in transparency, which is why I need to address something that's been weighing on me: the company dress code, specifically as it relates to pants.

Earlier this week, I experimented with what I call "executive shorts" during a board meeting. They were khaki. They were pressed. They had a CREASE. Barbara called them "inappropriate" and "confusing given it's January." But here's the thing: I am the CEO. I set the tone. And the tone I'm setting is COMFORT.

The New Dress Code Proposal

Effective immediately, I am proposing a new tier to our dress code: "CEO Casual." This applies only to me. It allows for shorts on any day ending in "y," sandals with socks (the socks are the formal part), and Hawaiian shirts during earnings calls because they project "island energy" which is code for "confidence."

Barbara has rejected this proposal four times. I have submitted it five times. Persistence is leadership.

This Weekend's Plans

Some of you have asked what I do on weekends. The answer is: I STRATEGIZE. While you're sleeping in, I'm up at 5 AM watching motivational videos and taking notes in a leather journal I bought specifically for this purpose. The journal cost $400. It makes my ideas feel more expensive.

I also golf. But I call it "kinetic meditation." It sounds better on my calendar, and it confuses people when they ask what I did this weekend. "I did three hours of kinetic meditation." They assume it's yoga. It is not.

A Challenge for Next Week

Next week, I challenge each of you to do one thing that scares you. For me, that thing will be "eating lunch in the break room like a regular employee." I haven't done this since 2019. I am told the vibe is "different" down there. I will report back.

UPDATE: I just learned Gary microwaved fish AGAIN today. I will not be eating in the break room. The challenge has been modified to "acknowledging an intern by name." This is also scary for different reasons.

Team,

With the Super Bowl approaching, I feel it's my duty as your CEO to address the elephant in the room: gambling. Specifically, the company-wide Super Bowl squares pool that someone started without my knowledge and which I have now taken control of because I am the CEO and CEOs control things.

First, let me be clear: I am not endorsing gambling. I am not suggesting you bet your mortgage on Eagles +3.5. What I AM suggesting is that if you DO make picks, you should consider what a natural leader like myself would do. I've attached my analysis. It's 47 pages. Reading it is optional but HIGHLY encouraged.

My Super Bowl Analysis

I've spent the last two weeks studying tape. Not football tape—leadership tape. I watched every press conference from both head coaches. Here's what I learned: Nick Sirianni blinks 23 times per minute. Andy Reid blinks 18 times. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I don't know. But I'm going to pretend it means something and build my entire thesis around it.

My prediction: Chiefs win by exactly 7 points, which is the number of synergies I've identified between our Q2 goals and their defensive scheme. Coincidence? I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in PATTERNS.

The Office Pool Situation

Regarding the squares pool: I have claimed squares 0-0, 7-0, 0-7, 7-7, 3-0, 0-3, 3-3, 3-7, 7-3, and 4-7 because those are "leadership numbers." When Gary from Accounting complained that I took ten squares, I reminded him that leaders take what they need. Gary now has square 2-9. Gary will not win.

UPDATE: Legal has informed me that using my position to claim premium squares may violate some sort of "fairness doctrine." I have released two squares. I kept the best eight. This is called COMPROMISE.

Super Bowl Monday

I am declaring the Monday after the Super Bowl a HALF-DAY. You may arrive at 10 AM instead of 9 AM. This is my gift to you. Some CEOs would give a full day off. But I believe in MODERATION. Also, we have a board meeting at 2 PM that I can't move because Barbara scheduled it six months ago and Barbara does not negotiate.

If the Chiefs win, I will be doing a victory lap on my electric scooter through the office. If the Eagles win, I will be "working from home" (processing my emotions in the parking garage).

Team,

Tonight, two titans clash in East Lansing. Michigan. Michigan State. A rivalry older than most of your careers here. And while you might think "what does college basketball have to do with our company?" the answer is: EVERYTHING.

I've been thinking about this game all week. Mostly during meetings where I should have been thinking about other things. The board has noticed. Barbara asked me if I was "fully present" during the Q4 review. I told her I was "strategically distracted." She did not accept this answer.

What We Can Learn From This Rivalry

Michigan is like us: storied, respected, occasionally insufferable about our own excellence. Michigan State is like our competitors: scrappy, hungry, annoyingly successful despite having fewer resources. The lesson? NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE SPARTANS. Both literally and metaphorically.

I've made this tonight's mandatory team-building activity. Everyone in the office will be watching the game in the main conference room. Attendance will be taken. Popcorn will be provided. Enthusiasm is not optional.

My Prediction

Michigan State covers. Not because I have any basketball insight—I do not—but because I had a dream about Tom Izzo last night and he gave me a thumbs up. Dreams are data, people. I've said this before and I'll say it again: my subconscious knows things.

If Michigan State covers, I'm buying pizza for the office. If Michigan covers, Gary is buying pizza because Gary picked Michigan and Gary needs to learn about consequences.

Team,

As we enter another fiscal year, I wanted to share my thoughts on where this company is headed. But first, let me address the elephant in the room: yes, there was an elephant in the building last Tuesday. No, I don't know how it got there. No, we will not be discussing this further. Legal has advised silence, and for once, I'm listening to Legal.

I want our competitors to wake up at 3 AM thinking about us. I want their children to ask, "Daddy, why does that company haunt your dreams?" I want our brand to be synonymous with "inevitable."

About Raises

Some of you have asked about raises. The answer is yes, but metaphorically. We're all raising ourselves—spiritually, professionally, and in terms of the number of hours we spend in this building. Speaking of which, I've noticed the parking lot empties by 6 PM. In MY day, we didn't leave until the janitor made eye contact. Something to aspire to.

My "Wellness Sabbatical"

I want to address the rumors about my "wellness sabbatical" last month. I was NOT in rehab. I was at a "leadership intensive" in the mountains. The fact that there were horses and feelings involved is coincidental. I learned a lot about myself. Mostly that I'm right about everything, which I already suspected.

Team,

It has come to my attention that some of you have been TOUCHING THE THERMOSTAT. Let me be clear: the thermostat is set to 68 degrees. It will remain at 68 degrees. This is not a suggestion. This is not open for discussion. The thermostat is LAW.

I understand that some of you are "cold." I understand others are "hot." What I don't understand is why you think your personal comfort supersedes my carefully calibrated environmental strategy. Do you think I chose 68 degrees arbitrarily? I consulted with three climate experts, a feng shui specialist (before we fired him over the ping pong incident), and my personal trainer.

New Security Measures

Going forward, the thermostat will be locked inside a tamper-proof case. The case will be inside a locked closet. The closet will be guarded by Carl from Facilities, who has been authorized to ask uncomfortable questions of anyone who approaches.

If you are cold, we have company-branded fleeces available for purchase ($75). If you are hot, we have company-branded fans available ($45, batteries not included). If you are both, I question your ability to assess your own internal state.

Team,

I'm writing to you today with a heavy heart. As many of you know, I submitted a proposal for a TED Talk titled "Synergy is a Love Language: Redefining Corporate Intimacy in the Digital Age." I was confident. I was prepared. I had a red turtleneck and everything.

They said no.

Not just no—they said my proposal was "incoherent," "potentially concerning," and "not actually about technology, entertainment, or design." They called my central thesis—that companies should view employee relationships as romantic partnerships without the romance—"troubling."

The New Plan

Instead of TED, I will be delivering my talk in the main conference room next Thursday. Attendance is MANDATORY. Snacks will not be provided because this is a serious intellectual endeavor, not a pizza party. The talk will run approximately 90 minutes, followed by a 2-hour Q&A where I will answer questions but only if they're about how much the talk inspired you.

I remain your CEO. TED doesn't define me. I define TED. They just don't know it yet.

Team,

By now you've noticed the construction on the roof. Some of you have asked questions. Most of you have just stared upward with confused expressions during lunch breaks. Allow me to explain.

I am building a new CEO office on the roof of our building. This is not because I need more space. This is not because I want to be separate from you—though, let's be honest, some separation is healthy. This is because GREAT LEADERS NEED ALTITUDE.

From my new rooftop office, I will be able to see the entire campus, the highway, and—on clear days—what I believe is the competitor's parking lot. Intelligence gathering through elevation.

The Design

The office will feature floor-to-ceiling windows, a small putting green, a meditation corner facing exactly east, and a fireman's pole for quick descents to emergency board meetings. The pole was my architect's idea. The architect was my nephew. He's 23 and "really into vibes." I trust him completely.

Some concerns have been raised about "weather" and "safety." To those I say: my commitment to this company is not deterred by rain. I will have umbrellas. Multiple umbrellas. An umbrella closet.

Team,

It has come to my attention—because Tyler told me directly, while showing me photos of his new yacht—that our summer intern is now worth more than my annual salary. Significantly more. Enough more that he offered to "invest for me" and I had to pretend I didn't need investment advice from a 22-year-old.

I want to be clear: I am HAPPY for Tyler. This is not jealousy. This is a CEO being supportive of his team's success, even when that success makes him question every financial decision he's made since 1987.

Some Thoughts

First, Tyler's wealth does not change his role here. He is still an intern. He still needs to make copies. The copies need to be collated. I don't care if he can buy the copy machine company—and apparently he can—he will collate those copies.

Second, I have begun my own cryptocurrency research. My nephew (the architect) recommended something called "SafeMoonElonDoge." I invested $50,000. I am confident this will even the playing field by Q2.

Third, Tyler has offered to buy the company. I have declined. This company is not for sale. This company is my legacy. Also, Legal said we can't accept offers handwritten on a napkin.

Team,

First off, I want to say WOW. Just WOW. This week has been a JOURNEY. I did a lot of thinking on my new electric scooter (more on that later) and I've come to some POWERFUL realizations about where we're headed as a company.

Now, some of you have been asking about Q1 projections. I want to be transparent with you because that's the kind of leader I am: I haven't looked at them yet. Numbers are important, but you know what's MORE important? VISION. And I have SO much vision right now.

This Week's Insights

I was at the gym on Tuesday (crushed a new PR on deadlifts, by the way - 315 lbs, ask me about it) and I had a thought: What if we treated our company like we treat our BODIES? Stay with me here. We need to FLEX. We need to GROW. We need to occasionally look at ourselves in the mirror and think "yeah, that's a winner."

I shared this with the board. They said "Chad, this is a financial review meeting." But I could see in their eyes that they GOT it.

Regarding the Holiday Party

I've been informed that photos of me dressed as Santa are "circulating" and being used as "leverage." I want to address this directly: I CHOSE to wear that costume. It was a POWER MOVE. Santa is a CEO too, when you think about it. He runs a global operation. He has employees. He rewards performance.

Whoever is using those photos knows what they're doing, and honestly? I respect the hustle.

A Poem About Leadership

I wrote that in 10 minutes. Some people spend their whole lives trying to create art like that.

About My Scooter

Quick update on the Segway Ninebot Max G2. Incredible machine. I've been riding it through the office to "stay connected with the team." Some people say it's "disruptive" and "nearly hit Carol." I say it's INNOVATION.

Leadership isn't about staying still. It's about MOVING. Sometimes at 18.6 mph through the marketing department.

Final Thoughts

Some of you have been putting in complaints about my newsletters. I want you to know: I read every single one. I keep them in a special folder. I reflect on them. Then I write MORE newsletters, because I believe in GROWTH.

Your feedback makes me stronger. Your resistance makes me more determined. Your confusion means you're not thinking BIG enough yet. But you will. I'll make sure of it.

Remember: Winners win. Losers lose. Everyone else just works here.

Team,

Happy New Year! I spent my holiday break at a LEADERSHIP RETREAT in Aspen. While everyone else was skiing, I was in the hot tub, thinking about YOU. About US. About what we're going to ACCOMPLISH in 2026.

I had a conversation with a guy named Steve at the bar. Steve sells pharmaceutical supplies. Steve told me something that changed my life: "Sometimes you just gotta go for it, dude." PROFOUND. I wrote it on a napkin. That napkin is now framed in my office.

2026 Goals

This year, we're going to:

1. Disrupt something (TBD what)
2. Innovate aggressively
3. Synergize our core competencies
4. Probably do some sort of rebrand
5. Win

I've already told the board this. They asked "what does any of this mean, specifically?" and I said "it means WINNING, Barbara." Barbara left the meeting early. She'll come around.

Handling Criticism

I've been told that my newsletters are "too long," "not relevant to work," and "genuinely concerning." I want to address this head-on: I hear you. I see you. And I'm going to keep doing exactly what I'm doing, because LEADERS don't change for FOLLOWERS.

That's just basic leadership math.

To the 47 people who complained about last month's newsletter where I reviewed my Peloton instructor's outfits: You're welcome for the content. Most people PAY for that kind of insight.

Team,

I'll keep this short because I'm about to board a private plane (not THAT private, it's shared with seven other executives, but still). The point is: I've been right about everything this year. Let's review:

1. Q3 - I said "we'd figure it out." We did. (The accountants figured it out, but leadership is about delegation.)
2. The merger talks - I said "this feels weird." It was. They committed fraud.
3. The holiday party - I PREDICTED it would be memorable. It was. HR has the documentation.

The Key to Success

People ask me, "Chad, how are you always right?" Here's my secret: I only remember the times I was right. The other times? Never happened. That's called POSITIVE MINDSET.

Try it sometime. Forget your failures. Only remember your wins. Suddenly, you're undefeated.

Anyway, my plane is boarding. First class, window seat. The guy next to me looks like he sells insurance. I'm going to tell him about synergy.