They expanded the College Football Playoff to 12 teams and I thought, "Finally, more opportunities to be right." What I actually got was more opportunities to be spectacularly, creatively, historically wrong.
Let's walk through the journey together. Maybe you'll learn something. I certainly didn't.
The First Round: False Hope
First-round byes for the top seeds? That's basically free money, right? I loaded up on futures before the season started. Georgia, Ohio State, Texas - the blue bloods couldn't possibly let me down. They've never disappointed anyone before.
Narrator: They had, in fact, disappointed millions of people before.
The Quarterfinals: Doubling Down
After the first round, a normal person would reassess their life choices. But I'm not a normal person. I'm a degenerate with a sports betting app and declining credit score.
The beautiful thing about a 12-team playoff is that by the quarterfinals, you've already lost enough money to feel numb. The pain becomes background noise. This is what Buddhist monks must feel like, except they're at peace and I'm watching a MAC team cover against a blue blood while screaming at my television.
"The spread is a social construct designed to separate you from your money." - Me, after my fifth bad beat of the postseason
The Semifinals: Bargaining Phase
By the semis, I had graduated from "confident handicapper" to "guy who picks based on which mascot would win in a fight." You laugh, but my mascot analysis had a better hit rate than my "research."
Would a Longhorn beat a Buckeye in nature? Probably not, but also - what even is a Buckeye? It's a nut. You're betting against a nut. How hard could this be?
Very hard, it turns out. Very, very hard.
The Championship: Acceptance
By the time the championship game rolled around, I had achieved a kind of clarity that only comes from financial devastation. The outcome didn't matter. The spread didn't matter. The over/under was a number that existed in a reality I no longer inhabited.
I bet the under because I was tired of being excited. At least when you bet the under, you're rooting for boredom. Boredom I can handle. Hope is what kills you.
Lessons Learned (That I'll Immediately Forget)
Here's what the 12-team playoff taught me about betting:
1. More games means more chances to lose.
2. Fatigue is real - for the players and for your bankroll.
3. Home field advantage matters less when everyone's playing at neutral sites.
4. I will absolutely do this again next year.
The CFP is a beautiful machine designed to create maximum chaos and extract maximum money from people like me. I respect it. I hate it. I'll see it again in twelve months.
Happy New Year. May your 2026 bets be better than mine were. The bar is underground.