You ever think you're about to live out some kind of tropical fantasy, and instead you wind up starring in a sitcom version of your life?
So I meet an absolute knockout in Thailand. Like out of a travel brochure. We’re laughing, vibing, doing the whole lost-in-translation thing. I’m thinking, this is it boys, I’ve unlocked the bonus level.
We head back to the hotel, and that’s where the plot twist hits me like a tuk-tuk doing fifty down a side street. Elevator ride feels like destiny. Door opens. We walk in. She kicks her shoes off, flops on the bed, and then asks, do you like cats?
I say, sure, I love cats. Next thing I know, a cat climbs out of her backpack like it just finished a red-eye from Bangkok. I’m not even mad. This cat owns the room now. It’s the main character.
Instead of a romantic night, I’m sitting cross-legged on a hotel bed at two in the morning feeding tuna to a Siamese while my date FaceTimes her cousin in perfect English and asks if I want to buy Bitcoin.
So yeah. Thailand, 1. Me, 0.