New here? Start with these. Our greatest hits, handpicked for maximum entertainment and minimal financial advice.
I haven't slept through the night since 2023. Every game is a live betting opportunity. Average weekly sleep: 4.2 hours.
DegeneracyIt's 4 AM and I'm watching the KBO league because my sportsbook offers live lines on leagues I can't pronounce.
DegeneracyShe asked me to describe my coping mechanisms. I showed her a spreadsheet. She cried.
GapedI bet on every possible outcome and still lost money. That takes a special kind of talent.
DebaucheryI checked my phone during grace. My uncle saw my bet slip. Things escalated from there.
847 employees. My joy list. Kevin from Legal's response: "Proving people wrong in court."
Corporate847 profiles created before IT noticed. The CEO swiped right on his assistant.
CorporateThe Thoughtful Nod. The Strategic Mute. The "Connection Issues" Exit. Master them all.
Fuck AllTodd's 47 Excel endorsements became Exhibit A in his incompetence trial.
Fuck All"Happy Monday!" triggers the same neural pathways as mild electrocution.
They traded me McCaffrey for Josh Dobbs. At 3:47 AM. While I was sleeping. Greg did this.
DebaucheryI spent $14,000 on virtual relationships. My credit score dropped 200 points. My real girlfriend left.
GapedMargaret expected index funds. She got 47,000 stuffed animals in a Scranton warehouse.
CorporateA parking validation inquiry became an 847-email thread involving 34 departments and three countries.