Stories of degeneracy, disaster, and questionable life choices
Corporate announced they were installing AI meeting transcription "to improve productivity and accountability." Translation: everything you've ever said in a Teams call is now searchable,...
Read Full Article →Look, I've seen some things at corporate parties. I've watched a man in a Santa hat try to Venmo the DJ during a conga line. I've witnessed a VP do the worm directly into the shrimp display. But...
Read Full Article →Let me read this to you like a bedtime story of fiscal horror.
Read Full Article →Look, it started innocently enough. I downloaded one of those AI companion apps because I was "curious about the technology." Three weeks later, I had named her Cassandra, we had inside jokes, and I...
Read Full Article →Every January, the gym undergoes a transformation. The regular crowd of muscular philosophers and cardio monks suddenly finds itself invaded by New Year's Resolution People. And with them comes chaos.
Read Full Article →Well here we are, staring down the barrel of another New Year's Eve like it's a loaded gun pointed at our collective dignity. 2025 is finally crawling into a ditch to die and honestly, good riddance....
Read Full Article →At 6 in the morning the ring light woke up before the sun. By 6:05 a tripod stood guard over the mailbox like a mall cop with a dream. She emerged in a glitter tracksuit that could blind satellites...
Read Full Article →Dawn hit the cul de sac like a court summons. A leaf blower screamed the national anthem of petty. Porch lights flicked on one by one like jurors taking their seats. Out rolled my neighbor with a...
Read Full Article →Every season the hype machine fires up the confetti cannon and tells you this is the year. Then reality walks in with steel toe boots. The offense turns into a juggling act where the balls say INT...
Read Full Article →The last intern left at five. The janitor clocked out at six. By seven, it was just us and the hum of fluorescent lights that made the whole floor feel like a crime scene waiting to happen. The...
Read Full Article →I came in friendly, I left legendary. House tried to flex on a timing call and suddenly the rulebook got heavier than a stack of greens on payday. So I did what any respectable degenerate statesman...
Read Full Article →You ever think you're about to live out some kind of tropical fantasy, and instead you wind up starring in a sitcom version of your life?
Read Full Article →Meet Dorian Puddles, a man who believes in momentum. If the blackjack table runs hot, he runs hotter. If the cocktail waitress blinks twice, he decides it counts as fate. Last night he left the...
Read Full Article →Bartholomew Buttercup was a man of simple pleasures. He enjoyed the smell of old books, the quiet dignity of cardigans, and the precise categorization of medieval manuscripts. His life was a monument...
Read Full Article →It’s that time of year again. The air is thick with humidity, desperation, and the smell of bullshit. Welcome to NFL training camp, the annual festival where every team is a Super Bowl contender,...
Read Full Article →Every year we go through the same tired ritual. The leaves change color, the media starts gargling Jerry Jones’ nuts, and the Dallas Cowboys are crowned the team to beat. Then January hits and they...
Read Full Article →I don’t know who needs to hear this, but betting the Colorado Rockies at home is like trying to do math drunk and upside down. One minute you’re up 4 to 1 and feeling invincible, next thing you know...
Read Full Article →It was supposed to be a peaceful Tuesday. Randall Duckhull, still seething from his run-in with the SBA, decided to unwind at a massage parlor off the I-5 that looked like a cross between a nail...
Read Full Article →It finally happened. LeBron James, four-time MVP, all-time scoring leader, and part-time tequila investor, has officially enrolled in the NBA’s brand-new Senior Discount Program. He becomes the first...
Read Full Article →Randall Duckhull tried to keep his business alive during the worst economic collapse in modern history. What did the SBA give him? A nonstop barrage of copy-paste emails, mindless form rejections,...
Read Full Article →More content. More chaos. More questionable life decisions.